Contagious
by sheppardlover928
Summary: Our fave team go off-world not quite up to par and get captured...too bad for the bad guys!


All disclaimers apply, this is for entertainment only!

CONTAGIOUS

Our fave team aren't feeling quite up to par and get captured...too bad for the bad guys. Title gives it away!

Chapter One

Aaaachoooo!

"Aw, jeez, Colonel! Cover your nose and mouth will you?!" Rodney complained loudly.

"I usually do, Rodney, but my hands seemed to be tied behind my back! And besides, I wouldn't have this cold if it weren't for you! I caught this damned cold from you! If I remember—you were the one who didn't cover up and sneezed over everybody!

Teyla was uncomfortable, not only with having her hands tied but her nose was getting progressively stuffier since morning and her head felt heavy. She feared soon she would join John with a full blown cold also.

"What is done is done. Colonel, I am sure Rodney did not mean to pass along his illness to any of us."

Ronon joined in by growling his displeasure and followed up with snuffling of his own.

Teyla continued. "Perhaps we should not have taken this mission. I am sure if Dr Beckett had known we were showing signs of having caught Rodney's cold, he might have suggested we stand down."

John narrowed his watering eyes. "Are you saying it's my fault we got caught and are now prisoners to these crazy people?!"

"Not at all, Colonel! We were suppose to meet the respectful elders of Alluan to confirm SGA-4's initial trade negotiations. It is unfortunate we crossed paths with these despicable thieves on our way to the village. But you must admit we all reacted a bit slower than normal."

John recounted the skirmish with these ingrates... a skirmish that they had indeed lost. They had been outwitted and even with being outnumbered 4 to 1...on a good day, his team could have run circles around these idiots.

John winced. "You're right Teyla...maybe we should have waited this one out but I mean...it's just a cold!" He sneezed again.

Rodney spoke up. "I'm fine! It's you three Beckett would have advised to stay in bed."

"Shut it McKay!" John didn't want to hear it, especially from Rodney.

"Okay, okay...Captain Crankypants!" Rodney wasn't really hurt by John's obvious bad mood, but decided not to push.

Ronon smiled deviously. "Come closer, McKay...maybe I can pass it back to you."

Teyla sighed, her point not taken by her fellow teammates. "Ronon...(aaachoooo!) Rodney did not pass this virus to us on purpose."

John had a brilliant idea. If this cold virus was really that contagious, maybe they could get their captors infected. It might take a few days, but chances would be they'd get sick enough and let their guard down.

"Guys, here's what we've got to do...". (aaa-chooo!)

TBC

Chapter Two

Though John knew Atlantis would be trying to find them, their idiot captors had been smart enough to take them through three,gates before returning to their base camp. It would take awhile for Atlantis to find them.

The leader of the ring of thieves named Ogden, was a bit smarter and had quickly realized that his prisoners with advanced weapons, might be worth a handsome sum. Holding them for ransom seemed like a good idea until he found getting their home gate address was futile.

Recognizing John as the leader, he had taken the brunt of abuse and torture which included beatings severe enough to result in a concussion, broken ribs and too many bruises to count .

Ronon had his fair share of inflicted wounds, as did Rodney. John knew Ronon could withstand as much torture as himself, but he had been so very proud of Rodney for not folding. They had yet to harm Teyla for information. John was thankful for that...at least Ogden had some sense of decency. But he knew soon, they'd come to take Teyla or Ogden would put the word out to the highest bidder."

Wincing as he rolled over onto his other side, John had to lift up to cough. Being compromised with injuries hadn't helped his cold any and now his chest was tight with congestion. He figured Ronon felt pretty much the same and Teyla too, though she luckily she hadn't be harmed.

Ronon's body tensed. "Listen!"

They all held their breaths and strained to hear. John fell back with a smile on his face. "Step One has been initiated and is reported successful!."

Outside, many different levels of sneezes and coughs could be heard, but very little activity. Four days living in this hellhole had come with a pretty predictable routine. Today's routine was definitely off, when no one came to harrass them or give them much needed water and food.

A few hours later, John decided it was now or never. "Okay, kids...time to go!"

They knew there was a guard outside. They'd been hearing him moan and groan, sneezing and coughing for hours. John almost felt sorry for him but didn't.

"Guard!" John yelled, trying to get the sick man's attention.

"Guard!"

He kept yelling until said guard finally came in and stood groggily in front of their cell.

"Wad u want? O'den's gona kill u for gibbon' us ur sic- (aaachoo) ness!" He wiped his fevered brow.

"Yeah...sorry bout that...i, ah...have something in my pack that will make you feel better...but there's only enough for one person. if you get my pack, I can give it to you...otherwise Ogden will get it and he'll feel better while you still suffer."

The guard knew Ogden was sick, too...just like the rest of them. He was bitter that Ogden had selected him for guard duty and no one had come to relieve him. He just wanted to feel better. If there was a cure, he would damned well sell his soul to be the one who got it.

"Kay...I'll ged ur pac...dis bedder naut be a trick." the guard sneezed and wiped his nose with his sleeve.

John gave his most innocent look..."It's not...it's called self-preservation...I give you the cure and you give us some food and water, okay? We're starving!"

The guard considered this. He knew they hadn't been given any food or water in over a day. So the man's words rang true.

"i'll be back"

John turned to smile at his team. "Step Two initiated! They firmed up their plan for escape again while the guard was away.

A half hour later, they began to worry. Had the guard thought twice? Did he tell Ogden there was a cure and Ogden was getting a crew together to beat the crap out of them—-again? or had the guard collasped in sickness...he sure was sicker than any of them had been.

As their hopes dwindled, they heard shuffling outside the door. The guard came through lugging all of their backpacks. He threw them on the floor outside the cell.

"Which one?" (aaachoo!). He sneezed, then coughed until he could hardly breathe. John winced, the man sounded like he had death rattles.

"Oh...ah..I'm not sure which one is mine...I know you won't open the cell door, but I need to be able to reach the right pocket on the right pack..."

The guard hadn't that. He might have opened the cell door without thinking. Stupid prisoner just reminded him! He knew this guy wasn't really that stupid, but he did seem honest. He guessed there was no harm in letting the prisoner go through the packs by reaching through the cell though.

What he hadn't realized was that Ronon had come up close beside John. As the guard knelt down next to the cell and pulled the packs close, Ronon reached out and grabbed the man around the neck. The guard struggled but was dead in seconds.

Ronon growled. "There's your cure!"

John didn't waste anytime. He knew which coat pocket the guard kept the cell keys in and pulled the dead guard's body over so he could reach, wincing as he pulled on his injured ribs.

A wave of dizziness hit him from the sudden movements. Ronon gently pushed him aside. "Here, let me...you don't have to do everything."

John knew he was in worse shape and would be a hindrance to his team as they made their escape, but he was determined to get them all back home and that meant swallowing his pride and asking for help.

Ronon found the keys and unlocked the cell door. Without John asking, Rodney and Teyla gently pulled him up between him with his arms around their shoulders. He was grateful for the support because he knew he'd never be able to walk on his own...and obviously, they knew too.

Ronon opened the door slightly to see what, if any, activity was going on outside. No one was out..which most likely meant they were were all too sick to leave their beds and didn't care about the prisoners too much because they were locked up and guarded. There was only two buildings—one was their jail cell, the other was the gangs living quarters, so their escape would be fairly easy.

They quietly left the building and rounded the building so they were out of eyesight to anyone who happened to be looking out the window. Lots of coughing could be heard, but nothing else.

Not knowing where they were was a problem. This world had to have a Stargate, but where, was the question.

'Which way, Colonel?" Rodney asked. He knew John's ATA gene was sensitive to Ancient tech and John had confided in him that he could sense the direction of a Stargate.

John stood still and concentrated, then began slowly circling until he felt a tingle. He stopped and pointed to his left. "Through there, feels like it's close."

A short time later, the Stargate came into view and they all sighed in relief.

John was exhausted, but in good humor said. "Step Two intimated and deemed successful."

Rodney, ever the pessimist, stated. "Technically, we aren't though to Atlantis yet...something could still be wrong..like..."

Teyla interrupted by leaning John more onto Rodney so she could dial the alpha site..she wanted no way for these bandits to find their home.

As they entered the stargate, Ronon was last, but before he left, he turned around in the direction they had come and gave "the finger'

"So long, suckers!"

Fin


End file.
